So here’s how Microsoft got the rights to use a 15-year old song by the Oldest Rock Band in the World. Bill Gates walks up to Mick Jagger. Jagger’s just finished rolling up a joint in a fifty pound note and is lighting it with another fifty. He’s lying down on an overstuffed leather couch--overstuffed with fifties, to be exact. Bill Gates adjusts his glasses and hunches his shoulders a little more...so that his shirt collar begins to ride down the slope.
Gates: Errrr, Mick?
Jagger (just noticing him): Yeah?
Gates (a little too fast): We have this great new operating system with something in it called a Start button and we thought it would be really cool if we could use that song you did with the word "Start" in the title to promote it.
Jagger: Are you Bill Gates?
Gates (flattered): Well, yes.
Jagger: (aside) One of the few self-made men in the world with more money than me! (to Gates, nonchalantly taking another draw off the joint) How badly do you want it?
Gates: (nervous tic beginning to show) I don’t like to talk about that in public. We’ve been working on this operating system for three years now... it would be really cool...
Jagger (smirking): No problem. You can use Start me Up. Shall we, errr, Start out at, oh, $12 million?
Gates (opens his checkbook. A few shopping discount coupons drop out): Should I make that out to Michael Jagger or Mick Jagger?
Jagger (stops smirking): Mick.
Gates (handing over check): I’ve always been a big fan of yours...
Jagger (still distracted): Thanks. Listen, do you want me to throw in another song to sweeten the deal? You can have a psychedelic one if you like...Sympathy for the Devil, perhaps...
Gates: No, thanks
Jagger: How about a ballad? You can’t always get what you want...?
Gates: (smirking) I don’t think so. (turns around and starts walking away. Stops. Turns around) Thanks for the song, Mick.
Jagger: No problem
Gates (smiling): Yeah. Sure.
Gates walks off into the pale blue, cloud laden distance, humming. Every so often, you can hear him try a snatch of the lyrics. "You make a grown man ... you make a dead man... how does that go again?"
Copyright (c) 1995-1997 Matt Lake. All rights reserved. Even "The Man with the Disk Drive Head" is a trademark of Matt Lake. If you have a problem with that, or a comment, then send a message to
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